Mallrats (1995)
Introduction
Hello you. Make a cup of tea. Put a record on. In 1995, Britain was halfway between Tory incompetence and Blair's manufactured sincerity. The Spice Girls hadn't yet poisoned the airwaves, and Britpop was just about bearable. Meanwhile, Kevin Smith, fresh from the unexpected indie triumph of Clerks, was irresponsibly handed Hollywood money. The result? Mallrats, a spectacular car crash that Smith himself still apologises for.
Plot Summary
T.S. Quint (Jeremy London) gets dumped by Brandi (Claire Forlani) due to her father’s absurd dating game show. His friend Brodie (Jason Lee, perfectly cast) is similarly ditched by girlfriend Rene (Shannen Doherty) for his spectacular lack of ambition. The obvious solution? Spend the day sulking at the mall, sabotaging the idiotic dating show, and getting involved in profoundly juvenile shenanigans.
There's a villainous Ben Affleck playing a mall dickhead, Jay and Silent Bob delivering cartoonish slapstick, and a dodgy subplot involving a teenager’s "research project" which is about as problematic as you'd expect.
Behind the Scenes
After Clerks became indie gold, Universal, displaying characteristic corporate cluelessness, threw $6 million at Smith, hoping for another profitable fluke. Smith immediately blew it on Mallrats, a loud, colourised Clerks reboot nobody asked for. The studio nearly axed Jason Mewes (Jay) for Seth Green, because Hollywood can't resist meddling (Oh and Jason Mewes well documented issues). Smith fought back, wisely protecting Mewes’ authenticity. Minnesota subbed for New Jersey, and Smith’s big studio debut flopped gloriously, forcing him back to indie purgatory.
Key Quote
"That kid is back on the escalator again!"
— Brodie Bruce
Pure, meaningless fury at life’s smallest irritations, a perfect distillation of the Smithian worldview.
For Fans Of
Wayne’s World (1992). Another lovingly idiotic film about slackers whose charm lies entirely in their lack of ambition.
Memorable Moments
Silent Bob’s Batman Moment: Silent Bob smashing through a changing-room wall dressed as Batman, a gloriously stupid gag that somehow works.
The Dating Game Disaster: Brodie hijacking the dating show to rant against romantic clichés and capitalist nonsense, classic Smith nihilism.
Easter Bunny Beatdown: Jay and Silent Bob’s misguided assault on the mall Easter Bunny, revenge gone delightfully wrong.
Easter Eggs
Walt Flanagan Everywhere: Smith’s mate Walt appears multiple times, including during Brodie’s comic store rant, a testament to indie filmmaking necessity.
Jaws Reference: The wedding at Universal's Jaws attraction foreshadows Smith’s later Spielberg fixation.
Stan Lee’s Authenticity: Behind Stan Lee during his scene are genuine comic books he created, a rare moment of sincerity amidst the chaos.
Why You Should Care
Mallrats matters precisely because it doesn't matter. It’s aimless, juvenile, flawed, but so were you, once. It captures the art of wasting time perfectly, and sometimes that’s exactly what cinema should do.
See you on down the road.
